Voices of Adoption: Not Perfect, But Willing

Adoption was an idea that Rhonda and her husband, Dave, had always been open to, but it was a "someday" possibility for them.  After God gave them five biological children in a little under eight years, Rhonda (formerly a math teacher and now a stay-at-home mom) and Dave, a pediatrician, thought that God had removed them from the pool of possible adoptive parents.  However, in April of 2012,  "God broke our hearts suddenly and passionately for orphans," Rhonda recalls.  "He took us from 'someday' to 'NOW!' in a matter of months."

At first, Rhonda almost felt mad.  "I really like my life the way it is," she says.  With children aged 10, 8, 6, 4, and 2, she feared she would have to choose between disobeying God's call and wondering what might have been, or obeying and sending her family through turmoil as they took on the adoption process.  "Very crucial in our decision-making process was a sermon on Nehemiah's journey from his comfortable life in the king's palace, to a mission that God gave him that was very uncomfortable and unexpected and for which he felt extremely unqualified (rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem); yet God used his willingness to obey for His own sovereign purposes," says Rhonda.  "Over the last year, God has gently re-framed my thinking, and now, even though there will of course be hard times, I view His calling as a blessing and a joy!"

Another significant moment occurred during Rhonda's personal quiet time with the Lord.  "In one of my quiet times as we were in the very beginning stages, I was reading in Mark about Jesus instructing the disciples to make preparations for the Passover meal. . . Follow this one guy, go here, talk to this man, say this. . . and he will lead you to an upper room 'furnished and ready'. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart SO clearly when I read that specific phrase, furnished and ready - that our family was in the menial tangible beginning steps right now (the following, going, saying - like the disciples - in doing all our adoption paper work and home study and preparations) . . . but how much MORE was the LORD doing behind the scenes?!  And that someday it would all open up and we'd be able to see what he had "furnished and ready" for our family."

Rhonda and Dave decided to request a girl younger than their youngest child, since their children were all so close together already.  They felt specifically called to pursue special-needs adoption and to care for "the least of these"- children who might otherwise not be chosen.  They chose to adopt from China, as Dave had several patients adopted from China, and he had been able to be a part of their journeys and connect with them.  While some countries require adoptive parents to make two trips, China only requires one, which was important to Rhonda and Dave as they tried to arrange childcare for their other five children.  

Now, Rhonda and Dave hope to bring home their two-year-old daughter with special needs from China in the fall.  She has a heart malformation and significant delays, of which they won't know the extent until she is home.  They are told that she is operating at an 8-9 month level right now.

When they received their first picture of their daughter, Rhonda remembers, "My first cognizant thought was, 'He had no form or majesty that we should look at Him, no beauty that we should desire Him...'  [Isaiah 53:2]  I'm not kidding, that was the FIRST thing that came into my mind, and it kind of surprised me.  She had kind of a vacant look in her eyes, very wispy hair sticking out every where...But I knew it was right.  I knew we had been lead to her.  I now find her irresistibly cute and cannot wait to nuzzle her cheeks!  With every new picture and video clip that we get, it seems more and more real and she feels more and more 'ours,' but I don't know if the visceral mother's love will kick in until I'm holding her and with her and am her source of love and protection for a few days.  It was the same way with my newborns in the hospital, too- I needed a few days to really feel like they are 'mine' and let it all sink in!"  She adds, "I miss her greatly- crazy to miss someone you've never met!"

The hardest part of the adoption process so far, according to Rhonda, was deciding what to tell friends and family, and "wondering if they were going to think we are crazy...which, I think some of them still do!"

To anyone considering adoption, Rhonda advises: "Bathe the whole experience in prayer, together with your spouses, children, and individually.  Remember that God doesn't use perfect people; He uses willing people!"
She adds, "And be patient!  It is a looooong process!"

When asked how readers can help Rhonda and her family, she replies, "We would love prayers for all the coming transitions for each one of us, that our daughter, MaeLynn, won't be scared by all these new experiences happening to her, and especially that God would be preparing her heart to be loved by a family!"

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